February 12, 2011


Note to Self:

The shower stall walls are far firmer than you are. So when you fling your wet, slippery body against them in a fit of hysterical rage, the only thing you’re actually going to end up hurting is yourself, more.

Hope you enjoy those bruises, you little emotional idiot.

XOXO

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Ouch Emotions Wet & Wild Stupid ANGRY

February 16, 2011


Girl Talk: Slippery When Wet.

  • As we're finally talking a lukewarm shower, he says, "So, I have to go home to feed my little brother's hamster. But I was wondering if you wanted to do drinks and a late movie tomorrow night, and then come into town on Friday and spend some time there and go to dinner at Bobcat."
  • Madison: Awwww!
  • I was taken aback. You can't surprise a naked girl like that. I nearly slipped in the shower, and believe me, there isn't room for that.
  • XOXO

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Girl Shit Surprises Wet & Wild Madison

February 17, 2011


A Lil’ Bit Country

I would kill small animals to have hot water in our apartment right now.

I thought I left this bullshit behind in Italy.

Nontheless, here’s the tried-and-true Country Girl’s Shower (don’t make me explain how I know this— it involves an entire summer spent without a hot water heater while Dad DIYed):

1.) Find the biggest pot in your house.

2.) Fill it almost the entire way with water.

3.) Bring it to a near boil on the stove.

4.) Grab a tall plastic cup, a sponge or washcloth, and your scalding pot of water, and proceed to your (now largely ornamental) shower.

5.) Fill cup from hot water. Pour over your head. Lather with shampoo.

6.) While your body’s wet, go ahead and soap down, too.

7.) Fill cup again— rinse body and hair.

8.) Repeat steps 5-7 with conditioner. 

9.) Dump the rest of the remaining water in the pot over your entire body.

10.) Bemoan your existence and feel a certain kindred-ness with those in third-world countries. Shiver.

Baaaaaaaahhhhhhhh. Fuck life. I really wish I didn’t need to shave this badly, or was more ok with looking like a granola-crunchy, tree-hugging furry bitch.

But I have a landing strip to maintain.

Vermont Girls. Gotta love us. What walking paradoxes!

XOXO

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Life Wet & Wild ILoVermont Hippies Hippie Girl Fuck This Shit