April 17, 2011


Yes, you’re pretty.

Too bad you have a piss-poor attitude.

XOXO

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June 28, 2011


amoammo:

I can never run for senator. There’s nudes out there of mine…

Secondeddddd. 
We seem to like our politicians like we liked our priests…with absolutely no sex lives.
AND LOOK WHERE THAT GOT US.
XOXO

amoammo:

I can never run for senator. There’s nudes out there of mine…

Secondeddddd. 

We seem to like our politicians like we liked our priests…with absolutely no sex lives.

AND LOOK WHERE THAT GOT US.

XOXO

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August 26, 2011


September 11, 2011


I Feel Sexiest In…

I try to take at least one passable photo of myself every day. It’s not (much) narcissism— about a year ago, I heard about the 365 Project, which is a project in which you take a photo of yourself every day for one year. Not only does it flex your creativity and photography skills, but it’s also a great way to keep a photographic record of how you’ve changed over a year. Some people take the same shot every day; some people do it of their kids so they’re perpetually growing in the family photo albums. I don’t remember to do it EVERY day— don’t have the time, or I forget, or I’m just EXTREMELY unphotogenic that day— but I’d say I manage about 5 days out of every week. That may be why you’ve noticed that about a fifth of my content is pictures of myself— not only am I doing this project and proud of the photos that I DO post, but I’m find I’m also my best photographer.

I am self-admittedly NOT the most photogenic person in the world…as I like to tell people, I have the kind of character that doesn’t stay still long enough to be caught on film well. A lot of who I am is in my speech and my expressions and reactions; I don’t have the most elastic face, unlike my best friend, who is a modeling agent’s dream come true— there’s only so much I can do with my large eyes, prominent nose, full lips, and lack of cheekbones. I know where my beauty lacks, so I’m the best person to wait patiently and find it again behind the lens. Sometimes a daily shot will take up to an hour to get right, but I still will wait for that “THAT ONE!” moment, because it’s worth it to me.

It took me awhile to grow into my looks. When I hit about 20, both my face and body went a sudden and obvious transformation, much like the ugly duckling. I don’t know how it happened, but bones and frame shifted, curves re-settled, and musculature ebbed and grew. My hair, which I had kept bob-length all through high school, hadn’t been cut in two years, and had turned into this beautiful mane of about 10 natural shades of blonde. I was a wholly-new defined “me,” and that’s when I decided to try to the 365 Project. I wanted to get to know my new image, and it tickled me pink that I suddenly really loved the person I saw in the mirror. I finally looked like the person I’d looked in the mirror and wanted to see during my entire teenage years. It was still all my skin, and I was suddenly very, very comfortable in it. My attitude improved. My dressing improved. My make-up application shaped up. My confidence grew. And my sex life got better. I had started to find out when I felt sexiest, and when that SHOWED, through looking through over a hundred photos of myself, picking out the artistically-forward shots, the good lighting conditions, and the ones when I just looked as great as I felt.

So, I want to try to start an “I Feel Sexiest In” photo campaign on Tumblr. Some people feel sexiest in the best La Perla has to offer. Some feel sexiest in a t-shirt and cut-offs, or nothing at all. Some people don’t know when they feel sexiest, and that’s why I want them to do this, and find out. It’s essential that you become comfortable with your body and at peace with your looks— after all, you’re stuck with them for the rest of your life! So…what do you feel sexiest in? Take a photo. Hell, take 15. Then post the best to your shots Tumblr— if you dare— with a caption that states, “I Feel Sexiest In…”

So how about it? What’s your sexy like?

XOXO

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December 19, 2011


Awww, I made a “Girls I’d Like To Fuck” Tumblr page.

How cute.

XOXO

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December 26, 2011


February 9, 2012


I got totally lit last night and ended up awkwardly coming on to one of the blog owners I follow dropping a bomb— literally, when you finish reading this, you will understand it was really a BOMB— in his Ask box saying something along the lines of “Sorry to mention it since you seem totally deep and shit, but if that’s you in your profile pic, YOUZ A HOTTIE! I know girls don’t normally start shit, but that was worth it. BYEZ.”

…something along the lines of that.

I am clearly a super-smooth operator when I’ve been dabbling in substance abuse and am behind a keyboard.

Yup. Winning.

XOXO

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July 10, 2012


When your online friends meet your IRL friends.

Basically, I really want to do a Tumblr meet-up. Badly.

XOXO

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August 7, 2012


If they were brought to me right now, I would legitimately try to blend a Whopper, Jr. and fries and eat meaty, starchy blender soup.

Tumblr, why do you keep showing me food porn photos of cheese-dripping burgers with crunchy pickles and oozing special sauce and crispy, salty fries when I can’t chew these things?! You bitch. You whore.

XOXO

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August 11, 2012


Tumblr during the day is filled with people posting relevant posts about work or the car they test-drove or about buying a house, or pretty pictures of clothing and cars and mountain scenery. Tumblr at night is seemingly filled with stoners gnawing on pizza and solving life’s existential crises.

miketakeschucktobonercity:

moeartea:

if you poop in holy water does that make it holy shit

the night bloggers are here.

And then there was this post…

…I hate when that happens. I hate when someone is talking your ear off and you’re not really paying attention and instead just making “active listening” noises like, “hmmm,” and “yeah,” and “I know, I know,” and then all of a sudden, they’re glaring at you and are like, “I just asked you when we have to be at Sarah’s house and you just said ‘yeah.’ Have you been listening to ANYTHING I’ve been saying?”

Oops.

XOXO

(Source: oswinne)

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Via

August 22, 2012


Has anyone ever read my “About” and realized that I actually wrote more about myself and this blog’s contents than most one-word-sentence bios on both this platform and online dating site’s “Life Summery” paragraph? (I may have actually used some of this in my OkC profile. MAY HAVE.)

Just wondering. I just updated it and wondered if it was even worth-while.

XOXO

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