What is it about that moment in which a woman needs to be filled and a man wholly enveloped?
I'm the book that beat the speed-reader, and I'm the card the dealers won't touch. And it's just not true I'm a man-eater; all the same, we should probably go dutch.
The things you pick up as you go.
I’ve DEFINITELY thought this before.
(Source: blvdsolitude)Contain Yourself
A coworker years my junior asked me if I was going to dinner with him tonight. Not an hour later, a guy that used to sleep with one of my friends chatted me up about going out for drinks later. All of this the day the guy I’m seeing asks to come into work with me, and picks me up later in his friend’s brand new Mercedes in the campus parking lot in front of some verrrrry jealous biddies.
This has confirmed my suspicion: The only thing you need to get a date is another date. When it rains, it pours, and women in relationships are more attractive than single women to men. Huhn.
To the person browsing my other blog looking for porn, I really want to be like, “Hey Al, buddy. Do you really think it’s a good idea to customize your iPad with your name and then go searching for college girl porn on sites that use tracking data?” But I think that may be an invasion of privacy, though whose— his or mine— I don’t know. Hysterical to think about, all the same. Stupid people fascinate me.
Would you do it?
I hate that moment when you realize that part of the reason why you’ve been being a horrible human being with no tolerance is because you hadn’t gotten laid in awhile.
Seriously, I’m a raging cunt if I don’t have an orgasm a day. Now compound that by 10 and I may have figured out why I hated humanity until today. Bada-bing.
I forgot how startlingly intellectual Buffy the Vampire Slayer was, and how the portrayal of juxtaposing the similar horrors of high school and fighting evil monsters really strikes a chord with its audience.
Yup. My afternoon plans are AWESOME.
I hate that moment when someone posts a photo or something of themselves on Facebook and while your relationship is such that it may be fine or better-than-fine, lead-to-sex-fine if you were to say something like, “DAYUM, you hot!” to their face, the protocol and appropriateness of leaving a comment or “liking” the photo is all ambiguous and up in the air, because the last thing you want is the guy you’re seeing to be like, “Whoooooa there, nelly! Stop objectifying my body; I have a brain, too, you know, and a shit ton of friends you’ve never met who just read that and now know you lust over me like a Monolo shoe sale.” (Though he would probably not get nor actually say the Monolo reference.)
When all I want to say is, “WOOF.”
…And times like now are when I consider getting all mysterious and tri-lingual and shit and just leaving “Tu sei caldo come pane,” and calling it a day to let people ponder.