February 20, 2011

Continuing the To Do List to keep me from going mental:

- Wash the dishes. (Can we tell what I ALWAYS put off? I just need to be in a “dish washing” mood.)

- Work on my client’s blog— font, font color, background color, 8 images. Email her for list of other people’s and company’s blogs she likes.

- Melt my brain and make myself want to cry with more episodes of the mind-numbingly beautiful “Wild China” series— bonus points: It also is teaching me things. Also, to counter-act said mind-numbing, continue watching more medicinal SATC. If I can get to it and watch it without becoming starving, watch Food, Inc.

- Go for a walk along the bike path at sunset for some “alone time” in nature. Bundle up— it’s apparently -2 outside. (Yes, I am quite insane.) And bonus points for stopping at a friend’s house on the way home for social time! (Also, to —literally— thaw my ass.

- Ration out my food so that I have things to eat at least twice a day until Tuesday, that make sense for the meal. Example: Crackers are a lunch meal, not a dinner meal. And one box of Annie’s Mac & Cheese can be split in half for dinner for two nights. Hello, poor college girl.

- Don’t call him. DON’T. (…Fuck. I so lost this one. Does it count if I messaged, and didn’t call?)


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Life To Do List Movies College Bored Out Of My Gourd An Exercise In Self-Control Procrastination

March 26, 2011

I’m off to Boston for the day to teach a workshop on blogging at the Independent Publishers of New England’s annual conference. On less than four hours’ worth of sleep. Having put together my presentation the night before. Oy vey.


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Life Professional Life Procrastination Oops IPNE Blogs

April 4, 2011

Ok, talk to me. I’m bored and procrastinating working on my thesis until I get out of work at 6 PM.

Ask me.

Ask for for advice. Ask me what my favorite color is. Ask me what my dream date would be. Ask me why I post so much while I’m hypothetically supposed to be working.

Ask me anything.

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Q&A Procrastination Life

I am working on my thesis.

Everyone fall down and die in shock.


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College Thesis Professional Life Procrastination Fo' Real

April 6, 2011

Last Night

What I Should Have Been Doing: Writing my Ethics paper component for my thesis.

What I Actually Did Instead: Went on a burn cruise with one of my dudes, ate a slice of pizza, a cheeseburger, and fries, stole the next two day’s worth of food from the caf, got sick, went to my night class, proceeded to tell the entire class about my dreams of a Star Wars themed wedding, went home, finished Center Stage, and danced.

Did I have more fun?

You bet your sweet ass.


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College Life Bad Habits Thesis Procrastination

April 13, 2011

Apparently, something’s up with the cable at home because Comcast finally decided they wanted to fuck with our lives EVEN MORE and start using something called “Xfinity” to host everything we use of theirs, and thought I am 12756% sure I’ve been using the right account number to “install” these “new settings” for our internet, they keep telling me something is wrong.

…Why do I get the feeling that that “something” is the fact cable hasn’t been paid for two months and this is their passive-aggressive way of making us actually do it? Bitches. YOU TOLD ME ON MY LAST STATEMENT I HAD UNTIL THE 18TH. LAST I CHECKED, IT WAS NOT THE 18TH!!! THIS IS NOT COOL, GUYS.

Goddamn, what am I supposed to do until 2 AM if I can’t internet-creep myself to sleep? Huh? Huh? Watch MORE Sex and the City than I usually do? ACTUALLY work on the “original writing” aspects of my thesis? How does that not sound as much fun as refreshing Facebook and Tumblr every 5 minutes in the hopes that I’m secretly popular and SOMEONE loves me and posted something for me? 

Um. Exactly. Because IT’S NOT.

…I am going to be hiding out here in the WC for internet access until the kick me out, screaming and flailing, at midnight. MUST. GET. ALL. INTERNET. TROLLING. FIX. IN. BEFORE. THEN!

It’s a drug, I fucking swear.


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Life Bills Bills Bills Thesis Procrastination Drugs Fucking Off

Awright, you fucking Shakespeare paper, you’re goin’ DOWN.

UPDATE: My name, class, date, professor’s name, title, and I think it’s time for a break.



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Procrastination College Shakespeare Hamlet

April 14, 2011

Let’s pretend I’m actually doing work.

…Well, on one hand, I did get that Hamlet paper done and submitted.


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Life College Procrastination

April 17, 2011

Been on campus for 4 hours. Thus far, I’ve watched Black Snake Moan, gone to the gym for a workout that kicked my ASS, and read a chapter in the ever-so-enlightening “Sex and the University” for Gender Com. Work done on thesis that’s due in two days? Pfffffft. Nada.

By the way, this is post #666. YES, SATAN IS IN THE PROCRASTINATION.


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Life College Thesis Procrastination Movies Kicking My Own Ass

April 20, 2011

…And now we’re going out for drinks.

Instead of finishing our business plans.

Solid choice.


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Life College Dating Procrastination Solid Life Decisions

April 22, 2011

I Give Great Message.

  • Me: Do you hear that sound?
  • ...That's the sound of the business plan deadline whooshing past.
  • It's not like I didn't touch it today...I opened it up, looked at the cover page for a good 5 minutes, thought, "Damn, that's a good cover page!" and then closed it again and went browsing through shelters in the Burlington area.
  • Obviously, my priorities are SO in order.
  • Him: Hahaha I wish I was as productive as you.
  • What do you mean by shelters?
  • Me: Well, I've reconciled myself to the fact that I will be homeless after I fail out of college before graduating from not passing in my business plan 10 minutes ago, so I'm looking at the homeless shelters and halfway houses in Burlington because I'm really particular about having south-facing bedroom windows, and god knows, those cots fill up fast.
  • ...I am completely shitting you. Animal shelters. For large dogs, preferably brindled, over 50 pounds, and male. Yes. I have a type.
  • XOXO
  • Le funny, non?

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Conversations Humor Sarcasm Men Procrastination Ever So Witty Flirting

May 28, 2011

Writer’s block just made me clean this damn condo.

Words, I’d really appreciate you back in my life right about now.


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Vermont Commons Magazine Procrastination Apartments Ugh Professional Life

May 2, 2013

Help, do you have any advice for writing argumentative papers for college that you have 0 motivation to do and know nothing about the topic? And thinking about it makes you depressed? You're like the smart, wonderful big sister when it comes to paper writing and creativity.

Ugh, this feeling.

I had something like this happen to me the other night; obviously, it wasn’t for a college paper anymore, but I had a business proposal to write for a potential client, and I just did. not. want. to. do. it. I was tired; I had worked all day; I had gotten shitty news that afternoon; I was sick. I was in NO MOOD or mindset to do the damn thing, but I had to. Because being a grown-up sucks sometimes. (A lot of the time.)

Whenever I hit a writing roadblock, I usually start by doing my research on the topic. This is the easy part, because generally, with internet access and a library, you can get shit done without having to do any of the writing, so it’s kind of like fruitful procrastination. Start easy; start on Wikipedia, and go from there. Skim reference books on the topic; read articles from field journals. Feed your brain a little bit, and enough to get some handle on where you want to base your argument from. It doesn’t have to be a stellar, mind-blowing, thesis-winning argument (unless it happens to be your thesis); it just has to get the job DONE and meet your professor’s requirements. 

QUICK STORY-TIME ABOUT THIS FACT: During college, I noticed a lot of my friends absolutely killing themselves and wasting a lot of time over their assignments and routine essays. They treated their final papers for classes as if they had to be worthy of publication in The Atlantic and help discover a cure for cancer. Newsflash— they do not. The objective of essays like these are to just show your professor that you have a grip on the information and can make an informed, intelligent argument that makes sense and accomplishes a goal. Really, that’s it. It doesn’t need to be your best work. It’s not worth not being able to go out and do the things that you really WANT and NEED to be doing in order to slave over that essay for an A+. A B is fucking fine. No one in your future career is really going to care or even know that you half-assed a stupid paper on symbolism in Italian Renaissance art so that you could go get drinks with friends on a roof-top beer garden on a lovely, hot spring afternoon, instead. And if they DO, tell them the reasons why getting drinks was a more personally enlightening experience that taught you more about life than writing that stinking paper did. College is not about completing EVERY. SINGLE. ASSIGNMENT. to your absolute best ability and making them time- and energy-consuming chores. It’s about learning in class and growing up and learning who you are as a person OUTSIDE of campus. Believe me. I operated this way all four years of college and was a Dean’s List student for 3 of them. If that doesn’t tell you that you can be a great student without busting your ass for asinine assignments, I don’t know what does.

Now, back to our scheduled programming on how to get this paper finished:

Next, resign yourself to the fact that you need to get that shit DONE. Find a place to park yourself with no distractions— not in your room, not near a TV, not anywhere where you will end up thinking about other things you could possibly do to put this off any longer. Personally, I like to find an uncomfortable chair, because not being comfortable where I am makes me want to actually finish it faster. To isolate myself and focus, I plug my headphones in and find one song on my iPod that I can put on repeat and drown everything else around me out. (Make it something that you know REALLY WELL and like enough but not too much so that you can actually tune it out as just “white noise.”) Give yourself strict instructions about finishing the assignment— i.e, “Even though I’m hungry, I can’t eat until this is finished,” or “I can’t look at that text I just got until I finish this paragraph.” Giving yourself something to work for is a good way to motivate you, even if it is just for a bagel or a text from a friend at that point.

And just WRITE THE DAMN THING. Let your brain take control of the writing; at this point, you should be able to trust that it knows how to formulate an essay and the sort of language and form that it needs to follow. About 75% of my college essays were just trite essay bullshit held together by relevant facts from my research to anchor the rest of it down. A paragraph is, after all, a statement supported by following sentences of facts, analysis, argument, and connections to your thesis. And a thesis is just that main statement that you’ve decided to run with. Tie it all together, sentences to paragraphs, paragraphs to thesis, and BOOM, you’ve got your paper. When you find yourself thinking, “Eh, good enough,” you’ll know that you’re done. Now, go celebrate by doing whatever it is you REALLY want to be doing. And go have a drink on me to celebrate.


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