The Oddest Thing She's Ever Said

Sometimes I wonder if my parents look at me and think, “Oh my God, my child is a retard.”

livelifewithcolor:

illmakeyoulalalalalovesick:

Always

bahahahhahahahah :D

I’ve DEFINITELY thought this before.

XOXO

(Source: boulevardsolitude)

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Parents Retarted and Yes That Was Purposeful Random Musings

Via Contain Yourself

What a fantastic night celebrating my mom’s birthday with my parents and their friends. 

The things that I have learned about their life in Killington in the ’70s.

Let’s just say…I know too much for them to kick me out for anything short of a ‘shroom-and-PCP-fueled Bacchanalian orgy featuring the neighbor’s hogs and the flatlander’s under-age children down the road.

Good lord, my parents are cool.

XOXO

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Life Family Parents Friends Bad Habits Hilarious Party

Girl Talk: It’s A Psychic Mother/Daughter Thing.

“Mom, can you come upstairs with me for a minute?”

“Oh, Carissa, hold on— my eye candy’s on TV!”

“Oh, is it the Aussie with the great forearms and pecs?”

“That’s the one!”

How sad is it that without even seeing the TV screen, yelling back and forth from whole different sections of the house, I know which hunky gardener on PBS my mother is drooling over, because it’s the same guy I grew up drooling over, too?

And just add some fertilizer and water well, and you’ve got yourself a nice crop of Jamie Durie in your garden:

(For real. That is him, I swear to it.)

And I mean, who wouldn’t want that!

XOXO

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Life Parents Stone Foxes TV PBS Garden Hilarious Girl Shit Scary

My parents are back from the Motherland, aka: New Jersey.

…They can go back, now, thanks.

This is why grown animals in nature don’t live with their parents; someone is going to die. And I’ll be damned if it’s me while I’m still young and strong and in the prime of my life.

XOXO

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Parents Life Family Twenty-Something Home Nature

My parents met when they were 15 and 23, married at 17 and 26, and have celebrated 39 anniversaries together. They are alternately hilarious and revolting, but today, while my mother called from Minnesota where she’s currently keeping my grandmother company post-op from the surgeries resulting after a bad fall, I asked her if she wanted to talk to my dad again.

“Do you want to talk to your husband again?” I asked her, and she said yes, so I held the phone up and called, “Dad, it’s your wife…your young bride…”

I heard her cackle in laughter over the line, and then my dad called from where he was coming down the stairs, “The woman of my dreams…”

Like I said…hilarious, and revolting. Because we all know it’s true. Ah, (not so young anymore) love.

XOXO

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Family Parents Love Couples Hilarious Adorable Disgustingly Cute

Here’s to managing to burn a hole in my esophagus— with chemicals— and yet still stay out of the hospital.

With my Sergeant “Suck It Up” Daddy playing nursemaid and bringing me back to life with his miso soup, I felt like I had no choice. We raise ‘em tuff out here.

XOXO 

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Life Sick Ouch Parents Suck It Up How Am I Still Alive.