January 16, 2011


I just spent the last 20 minutes barking at the cat and procrastinating a shower.

I need more of a social life.

XOXO

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Nicco Life I'm A Loser Baby

January 25, 2011


It’s me. The cat. And my illness.
Three’s a crowd.
XOXO

It’s me. The cat. And my illness.

Three’s a crowd.

XOXO

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Nicco Cat Life Sick Bed

January 26, 2011


Such a fucking needy baby. The cat, not me. He’s the one who crawled up there while I was typing.
I’m hoping that petting him roughly will deter him.
So far, he seems to be enjoying it.
Dammit. Outsmarted again by the BDSM cat.
XOXO

Such a fucking needy baby. The cat, not me. He’s the one who crawled up there while I was typing.

I’m hoping that petting him roughly will deter him.

So far, he seems to be enjoying it.

Dammit. Outsmarted again by the BDSM cat.

XOXO

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Nicco Cat Baby Needy

April 8, 2011


As we’ve all probably noted by now, I’ve got a little bit of an entrepreneurial bend…mostly because I’m always strapped for cash. So it should be no surprise that I’ve just come up with my latest money-making endeavor, namely— breeding my cat.

Yeah, I know, this seems like a terrible idea, but let me count the ways in which choosing to breed my Nicco (that’s Nicolai La Citta to those breeders of you out there who like a nice, long, and impressive show name,) to your little lady-cat would actually be an awesome decision:

- As evidenced by the photos above, he has a sterling disposition. Hand-raised by me since he was a month old, Nicco’s got a really go-with-the-flow personality. You can literally do anything with this cat— hold him upside-down, toss him, perch him on your shoulder like a parrot, force-cuddle him…scratching and biting don’t come naturally to him, so the chance of having mailable kittens is pretty good.

- He’s highly personable and interactive. Unlike most cats, he won’t run and hide, and in fact, is exceptionally needy. He craves human interaction and is always up in your biznazz, wanting to be included in things. (In many aspects, he’s very much like a dog.) He’s always the life of our parties, greeting everyone and crawling into laps. In fact, the only person he’s ever not truly enjoyed was the guy I’ve been seeing…Nicco’s kingly enough to assume that he should be the only man sleeping in my bed.

- Our vet tells us he’s partially Siamese, which accounts for the fact that he’s highly talkative. If you mimic his meows and yowls back to him, he’ll engage you in a full-on conversation. He’s got a diverse and interesting variety of vocal noises, from a roll in the back of his throat like an old-fashioned telephone ring, to a high-pitched yelp he makes while yawning.

- Born of humble beginnings, his highly distinctive coat markings really stand out. His brown base-coat is accented with heavy and dark black tiger stripes, and silver tips. The fur on his belly has a unique “snow leopard print” with round rosettes…something I’ve never seen on any other domestic short-hair tiger. 

- While I’ve watched him run into walls, he’s also intelligent enough to know several voice commands, and a few tricks. Hopefully, his highly teachable mindset would be passed down to his offspring.

- Nicco’s best friends are the neighbor’s dogs, and he’ll play with them as if he’s one of them. (He’s a brave little dude.) He’s interacted with lady-cats before, and is DEFINITELY looking for some springtime lovin’, if his crying at the front door lately is of any indication. An indoor cat strictly, Nicco is pampered, exercised, and in prime condition, with not an ounce of fat, and sharp senses. 

- Weighing in at roughly 7 pounds, Nicco is fully-grown and in healthy weight, yet is what we refer to as a “miniature cat.” He and his mother are the same size, and his father (a longhair, so that may give some recessive longhair traits to his offspring,) isn’t much larger. This is the perfect size cat for apartment living, or for children, since “minature cats” look exactly like a fully-grown, regular size cat, but are on a child’s size scale.

- While I am not promising anything, here, I am allergic to cats with high dander concentration, and I’ve never gotten so much as a sniffle from Nicco, not even when he used to sleep on my head as a kitten. (He really did.) 

$$$ While no cat is really “free”— believe me, I got Nicco for free, and $600 worth of vet bills later to have him vaccinated, checked out, hydrated, and tested, he’s now my "Manolo Cat"— and adopting a kitten from the shelter or vet’s can cost anywhere from $25 to $100, and purebreds from breeders can cost from $500 up to $1,000, why don’t you decide to breed with Nicco, get the looks, attitude, and vocal chords of a really fun pet, and only spend $150 for stud fees, on guarantee of live young? That’s a STEAL for such a package! $$$

So now that I’ve convinced all y’all that not only am I very, VERY bored, but also a crazy young cat woman, tell me— if you had a lady cat and wanted kittens, would you bite for my little stud-muffin? 

XOXO

….In all seriousness, now, how’s THAT for an example of creative/technical writing and the sort of sample a writer can just whip the fuck up? See, you can write about ANYTHING.

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Cats Nicco Hilarious Writing Jokes Breed Your Cat Catwoman

May 22, 2011


Still life of Man and Cat.
XOXO

Still life of Man and Cat.

XOXO

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The S.O Nicco Cats Men Stone Foxes

June 1, 2011


The cat is making himself at home for a night at the S.O’s. Sprawled out on the master bedroom’s floor. He thinks this place is the tits.

Both man and cat are skeptical they can inhabit the same territory as another thing with testicles.

It would be cute if I weren’t worried the little Italian prince wasn’t going to get attached to three stories of fun, and then promptly howl his disdain at the semi-shit-hole I am moving him into tomorrow.

I reiterate— I am living in an attic. Like, a GARRET. Little Princess-style.

In other news, I have just found out the hard way the S.O can pinch me with his finger-toes.

Yes. This is a gloriously weird union.

XOXO

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Nicco Cats Apartments The S.O

June 2, 2011


Woke up this morning, on my right side, on the edge of the bed, per usual, when I heard the cat chirp at me. I opened my eyes, and he was right in my face, front feet up on the mattress, staring at me.

Not going to lie, I got up and fed him right then because I was so impressed that he A.) Came and found me, and B.) Was kind enough to wake me up quietly and politely (not per usual) instead of waking the S.O up, too.

Sometimes, he’s not the worst $600 cat.

…And then the S.O went and took me to see and pet some foals. Great start to the day, overall.

XOXO

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Nicco Cats Life Morning Hilarious Cute Factor Out Of Control Horses

June 11, 2011


 ‎…I have found someone who makes my relationship with my little douchebag of an Italian cat look completely normal and healthy.

Thank you for that.

XOXO

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Cats Nicco Hilarious wtf.

July 10, 2011


This is the second time in 3 days the kitten has got out to go find some wildlife lovin’.
The first time, he got in a fight. Now both he and my original tomcat who lives with my parents have tattered left ears. He thinks he’s quite dashing now and a BAMF.
The second time, I think he found a girlfriend. There best be no baby daddy drama whenever-a-cat’s-gestation-period-is from now. Uhhhhh uh. I’m not saying jack about kitten paternity until Maury comes back with the results.
Ergo, this is also the second time in 3 days I’ve had a heart attack and near meltdown.
Why must we love. Ugh.
XOXO

This is the second time in 3 days the kitten has got out to go find some wildlife lovin’.

The first time, he got in a fight. Now both he and my original tomcat who lives with my parents have tattered left ears. He thinks he’s quite dashing now and a BAMF.

The second time, I think he found a girlfriend. There best be no baby daddy drama whenever-a-cat’s-gestation-period-is from now. Uhhhhh uh. I’m not saying jack about kitten paternity until Maury comes back with the results.

Ergo, this is also the second time in 3 days I’ve had a heart attack and near meltdown.

Why must we love. Ugh.

XOXO

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Life Nicco Cats Animals Love Ugh

July 20, 2011


Like A Little Princess, But With More Shoes.

The cat and I are both stretched out directly in front of the fan, and can’t be arsed to move; not for love, money, or food.

If you know me or my cat, that’s really saying something.

XOXO

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Apartments Cats Hot Mess Life Nicco Summer Love Money Food

July 22, 2011


Found a way to keep the cat cool by putting ice cubes in his water dish. Not only is his water now cooler, but he’s having a ball playing with it.

Just call me the Cat Whisperer. Genius, I know.

XOXO

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Life Summer Hot Mess Cats Nicco Brilliant

July 23, 2011


I Am Legend is probably not the best movie to be watching with your cat when you’re home alone and haven’t seen another human being in nearly 48 hours.

Just saying.

XOXO

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Life Bored Movies Cats Nicco Alone

July 24, 2011


Why must I own the Kitten of Satan?

XOXO

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Life Evil Cats Nicco

August 2, 2011


He is the quintessential Mama’s Boy— always has to be near me.
I realized today as he laid smugly on the bed next to me that he feels like he’s run the Tall Man out and won the Battle of Bed. I’ll let him keep that impression; he’s quite pleased with himself.
Quello che un cavone.
XOXO

He is the quintessential Mama’s Boy— always has to be near me.

I realized today as he laid smugly on the bed next to me that he feels like he’s run the Tall Man out and won the Battle of Bed. I’ll let him keep that impression; he’s quite pleased with himself.

Quello che un cavone.

XOXO

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Cats Hilarious Italiano Macro Nicco La Mia Faccia Hair Blonde