April 6, 2011


Myalternateuniverseissleep:

A.) You are adorable. Thank you for the kind words. You are quite possibly my favorite follower.

B.) The photos you find are AMAZING. My dashboard is always so much more interesting when you post.

So, all in all— Thanks!

XOXO

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Followers Thank You Messages

November 4, 2011


Just going to leave that right there…
Good god, I love my followers. Y’all are just SO. KIND!
XOXO
(P.S— The secret is cat-eye eyeliner, erryday, all day. That, and the fact I got my daddy’s big, round, navy blue eyes…thanks, Da.)

Just going to leave that right there…

Good god, I love my followers. Y’all are just SO. KIND!

XOXO

(P.S— The secret is cat-eye eyeliner, erryday, all day. That, and the fact I got my daddy’s big, round, navy blue eyes…thanks, Da.)

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Adorable Men Cute Factor Out Of Control Thank You Messages Love Eyes Baby Blues

January 2, 2012


Using my Holmesian powers of deductive reasoning (and the blog’s IP tracker,) I’m going to make a highly educated guess at where all the snarky mail is coming from.

…I’m lookin’ at you, Burlington.

XOXO

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Haters Hilarious Sass Messages Snark Memes

January 15, 2012


January 18, 2012


I Have Never Been, And WILL Never Be A Victim, No Matter How Much You Want Me To Act Like One.

We are not children anymore; bullying has GOT to end. Speak up against it. Where you see it happening, call those out who are perpetrating. Support the scapegoats. Be strong and positive with them, and in cases where they can’t be or aren’t, FOR them.

I want to see an end to bullying, cyber or otherwise. Only the truly weak hide behind name-calling and disgusting, uncalled for belittlement of others. Trying to put others down is absolutely in no way a way to feel better about yourself.

If you support this movement and message, send someone an anonymous message— filled with kindness, love, and positivity. Spread the love; fight the hate.

XOXO

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Be Better Than That Bullying Cyber Bullying Hate Mail Haters Letters Love Messages Movements Public Service Announcements Think About It

If Y’all Could See The Size Of The Smile On My Face…

It is truly massive.

Thank you— ALL of you— whether you be friend or stranger, for being willing and able to fight this battle with me. Especially on the day that the internet has gone black in protest of SOPA and PIPA (piracy and censorship acts currently being deliberated by our government), I think THIS support is especially poignant.

You all are so strong; so intelligent; so right; so positive. It makes me so exceedingly happy to know that there are people out there who refuse to let bullshit like this pass in silence. You all really are the warriors of the 21st century. Keep up the great work.

As for the perp of any and all anonymous hate-mail, I hope this has proven to be a lesson for you. If you’ve gotten away with bullying in the past, this is the end of it, here and now. You chose the wrong person to try to belittle, and unfortunately for you, you did it in a public way, and now that same public is calling you out for your craven actions. Let this be a lesson to you, and NEVER try it again, because I am not one, I am not quiet, and I will not be cowed; this is an army, and we all will take you to task for it.

XOXO

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Amazing Bullying Friends Karma Love Messages Think About It

January 20, 2012


March 4, 2012


Heard back from the Rocket Scientist (AKA: Book Store Guy).

Vair, vair excited because I had him pegged as a “wait 3 days after first date” guy. Instead, it was 2.

The beginning of one of my previous messages to him started with, “Oh, (name.)”

The end of his message to me ended with “And feel free to say those first 2 words over and over again, each time slightly more emphatically than the last.”

Oh, he bad. And how I’d love to actually use that suggestion in a real-life skin-on-skin interaction. (I have mentioned that besides being clever and naughty and intelligent he is also ridiculously, ridiculously good-looking, yeah? Like, take-your-breath-away-when-you-see-him-WOW, right?) Yeah, I’d sleep with him like, tomorrow.

I love it.

XOXO

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Life Dating Yes Please The Rocket Scientist Messages Yummm

March 9, 2012


This One's A Catch.

  • His Username: 3/8/2012 11:23:27 AM. "f I told you I wanted to talk to you, You'd think I'm trying to holla at you, And maybe I am but,You wouldn't hear me out anyway's would you?.??"
  • My Response: "[His username]: 2/27/2012 5:05:34 PM. If I told you I wanted to talk to you, You'd think I'm trying to holla at you, And maybe I am but,You wouldn't hear me out anyway's would you????" Clearly, you already tried "holla"ing at me.
  • Prizes for Most Impressive Short-Term Memory and Grammatically Atrocious Mass-Messages goes to This Guy.
  • XOXO

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OkStupid Online Dating Online Decorum Dating Makes Me Want To Die Messages Ugh Hilarious

March 11, 2012


March 19, 2012


My lips are getting a lot of fan-mail from online dating dudes recently. 

I wonder what’s up.

XOXO

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Lips Online Dating Messages Hmmm... Girl Shit

March 20, 2012


Good morning, OkStupid.
It’s actually rather sad, because he resembled Jon Rhys Meyers quite a lot.
Shame.
XOXO

Good morning, OkStupid.

It’s actually rather sad, because he resembled Jon Rhys Meyers quite a lot.

Shame.

XOXO

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Grammar Nazi Messages OkStupid Online Dating Ugh Yikes Sexy

March 23, 2012


In tribute to “The Hunger Games” now starting in theaters and the mass hysteria and unrequited teenage love (lust?) that will no doubt be felt by the youth of America the likes of which we haven’t seen since the “Twilight” debacle, CITIZENS OF TUMBLR! GIFT ME YOUR RELATIONSHIP QUESTIONS AND SEX CONUNDRUMS! MAY THE BEST QUESTIONS BE ANSWERED!

…by the sort of witty snark and truthful punches that I can throw.

But no, really— lovelorn? Whipsawed with confusion by female actions? Desperately in need of a good fucking? Write to me. There’s the Ask Box, right there. Let me give you sage advice. Or, in failing that, make as many PETA (no, wait, it’s Peeta, isn’t it?) related jokes as possible.

XOXO

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Ask Me Q&A The Hunger Games Twilight Movies Advice Messages

June 21, 2012


Mad-Libs For Lovers.

I can’t stop thinking about your glorious _____, smooth skin and lovely curves. And how you love _____. It’s a lot to think about.”

Nope. Not just me feeling heaps and mountains of things.

Come back to me, you wonderful man.

XOXO

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YESSSSSSS Messages Twig Lovers All These Frigging Emooootionsss Surprises

June 29, 2012


So, I know a lot of you are ravenous for more about the man with the brilliant green eyes, and I know I haven’t been very forth-coming lately with more news. I’m sorry. This is what happens when you live roughly 2,000 miles away from each other and aren’t big phone people. The long and short of it is, I know I’ll be out there in less than a month now, so I’m not pressing my luck by trying to be constantly in-touch NOW. So, basically, I can sum up my interaction with him in the last week with a photo I sent him from the top of a mountain hike, and then a hilarious GIF I found and thought he’d also get a kick out of. Neither of which got a return response. Just kind of “thought of you!” things.

…This is not the stuff of “Atonement,” guys. I’m sorry if I’m disappointing you.

However, yesterday started with a completely unexpected return “beautiful scenery” photo of where he was, and culminated in me firing back a sunset-lit photo from the top of another mountain. (I hike a lot. There are worse things in life to be addicted to.) This morning started with a response to that, and now is when you can clutch your hankies and get your fainting chaises ready, ladies.

"You have an amazing silhouette, my dear. Always nice to get a pretty-lady-gram. Instead, I’m stuck with a bunch of sweaty carpenters and wood. So I was thinking you should stay out here a few extra days after your family leaves."

(I’m sorry…are you asking me to stay over? For a few days? Please make my reservation for the International Traveler’s House Of Multi-Talented Men now.)

"Other than some bonding time with my grandmother I’m not willing to give up since we both share a love of classic Batman episodes, I have free reign while I’m out there, so I figure I’m all yours for a few days. If you’ll have me, of course."

"I’ll have you every way I can think of."

"Is that a promise?"

"Sure is. I can’t wait."

Fuck “Fifty Shades of Grey” and that amateur seduction scenario. Ass-over-teakettle for him. Fireworks, guys, FIREWORKS.

XOXO

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Dating Makes Me Want To Die Yes Please Twig Long Distance Texting Messages Awww Adorable Men Twenty-Something Life Sex