I just smoked and then got lost in a Good Housekeeping magazine for 3 hours.
Who am I.
The country is getting to me.
"This whole world is wild at heart, and weird on top."
The things you pick up as you go.
Ok, so, like I admitted to, I was reading Good Housekeeping (October issue, natch,) when I came across this fashion Q&A and promptly got appalled. “I’m a plus-sized petite— 5’2” and a size 16— and I’m unsure which styles work best on me. I like my legs; should I play them up?”
And Good Housekeeping said…
"Absolutely! For most women your size, finding pants is an unending struggle, so you may want to stick to skirts or dresses."
Now, I will flat-out admit that while I AM only one inch taller than the woman who wrote in, I am 5 sizes smaller than she is at a size 6, so I may not know the “unending struggle” that a size 16 woman has to go through to get a pair of jeans she likes, but…I DO know several size-16 women who SOMEHOW manage to drag themselves through that chore and find perfectly flattering pants on a regular basis. In fact, I don’t think I’ve seen one of my most-curvy friends in a skirt or a dress; I think she’d rather die first than give up her pants. So, stop telling these women that finding pants is a struggle and that they should just cover up in skirts and muumuus instead. Give them some ACTUAL advice, like names and styles from manufacturers who SOMEHOW manage to create a great-looking and great-fitting jean for the larger sizes, or what jean cuts can showcase their assets the best. THAT might actually be helpful, instead of trying to shame these women out of showing off.
And for the record, Good Housekeeping, I have a hard time finding pant cuts that fit and flatter me, all 5’3”, 122-pound, 36-27-36 perfect hourglass measurements, size 6 of me. That means that swimsuit-model, general hot-bod owner Carmen Electra, whom I share height-and-measurement stats with, also has a bitch of a time finding pants she thinks she looks hot in. It’s NOT a size thing; it’s a BODY SHAPE thing. It’s a WOMAN thing.
So kindly take your nose and opinion out of my love-handles and curves. Or do you want to try telling Carmen and Mad Men’s foxy-lady-extraordinaire Christina Hendricks that they don’t look good in jeans?
You know those free little product samples that come on the postcard-sized inserts in women’s magazines for like, moisturizers and lipsticks and eyeshadows and blushes? Every time you find one in your ELLE or Cosmo or Glamour or Redbook, tear it out, and slip it into your purse. Carrying around paper-thin one-time samples is such a quicker and easier way to freshen up before you head out for drinks after work than having to cart the full-sized compacts and lipstick tubes that just take up room.
This photo of our FLOTUS gives me all the feels. I love what a strong, outstanding, autonomous woman she is. Michelle is probably Reason #2 I’ll be voting for Obama this fall, after women’s rights issues. She is such a dynamic powerhouse of her own right, with her own schedules, agendas, and projects. I just don’t think Ann Romney could EVER compare to the amount that our current First Lady gives back to the country, and the world.
Though I will never be this tiny or this stylish or get my hair to do wonderful things like this on purpose or ever truly enjoy riding a bike, I DO appreciate my monthly magazine-and-fresh-cut-flower purchases and can tell you from the pocket stitching that those jeans are from American Eagle.