January 31, 2011


True Facts

"Why aren’t you like other girls and give up and stop fighting after three seconds?" he asked, cradling her hurt arm against his chest.

"Because I’m not like other girls," she told him. "I don’t mind getting rough, and I never give up."

XOXO

Leave Note / Reblog
Creative Non-Fiction Couples Life Girls

February 1, 2011


I love leaning into taller men on tip-toe to kiss them.
XOXO

I love leaning into taller men on tip-toe to kiss them.

XOXO

5 notes
Leave Note / Reblog
Sex and the City Couples KissOKissO NYC

February 2, 2011


Teenage Dream, 1

I wake up when you roll over in the morning, and for the next five minutes, I lay in bed, perfectly still, and listen to the sounds you make. I look at the stubble on your cheeks. I notice you’re drooling a little on my fitted sheet, a small dark circle spreading out on the cream-and-navy polka dot pattern. 

I decide it’s charming.

—-

The Teenage Dream series is inspired by snapshots of my life that constantly amaze me— they’re things I hoped my “grown up life” would be like when I was in my teens, hence the moniker. All vignettes, they’re the moments I live and write about to be thankful for having.

XOXO

Leave Note / Reblog
Creative Non-Fiction Morning Couples These Are A Few Of My Favorite Things Teenage Dream Vignettes

According to recent surveys, the man is the most likely partner to be tied up during sex.

I know that’s the way it usually is with me.

XOXO

93 notes
Leave Note / Reblog
Sex Couples A Little Bit Of Kink Random Facts

Via Unscrupulous Man Eater

February 3, 2011


Teenage Dream, 2

You wake up when I leave to use the bathroom, and when I come back and crawl into bed, roll over to wrap your arms around my waist, kissing the small of my back and burrowing into my skin with your face. 

We start talking about breakfast.

—-

The Teenage Dream series is inspired by snapshots of my life that constantly amaze me— they’re things I hoped my “grown up life” would be like when I was in my teens, hence the moniker. All vignettes, they’re the moments I live and write about to be thankful for having.

XOXO

Leave Note / Reblog
Couples Creative Non-Fiction These Are A Few Of My Favorite Things Morning Life Teenage Dream Vignettes

February 5, 2011


Teenage Dream, 3

I’m putting bronzer on for brunch because I secretly always worry that because I’m not your physical type, it means that I always have to look as stunning as I can. You tell me we’re not meeting the Queen; that I don’t need to put foundation and blush and mascara and eyeliner and lipstick and perfume on. You’re hungry and impatient.

I tell you I don’t wear lipstick.

—-

The Teenage Dream series is inspired by snapshots of my life that constantly amaze me— they’re things I hoped my “grown up life” would be like when I was in my teens, hence the moniker. All vignettes, they’re the moments I live and write about to be thankful for having.

XOXO

Leave Note / Reblog
Creative Non-Fiction Girl Shit Couples Vignettes Teenage Dream Vignettes

February 6, 2011


February 7, 2011


Bringing Sexy Back

Work and play overlapped in a way I didn’t see coming yesterday that left me feeling a little shook not only about how my job and interests bleed into my personal life, as well as how “comfortable” isn’t always a good thing in a relationship, despite the connotations of warmth, bliss, and utter lethargy. The conversation that started it all (lightly edited for content, clarity, and privacy,) is as follows:

He: ”My friend who you met at ____ has been in one of they’re videos.”

Me: ”Really? And yo’ grammar. It’s outta control.”

He: ”You can bug me about it, but I don’t give a shit.”

Me: ”Good grammar is sexy.”

He: ”If I thought I still had to make sure I was being “sexy” for you online then I would, but I REALLY don’t feel obligated to go back over every sentence I type right now, especially since I’m doing a couple things at the moment.”

Me: ”Real romance never dies. Proof-read so I can think more about jumping your bones and less about proper usage.”

I work in a writing center, and I’m a professional writer. I spend an inordinate amount of time thinking about the English language (and occasionally, other languages, so holla to you, French and Italian), and it’s something that’s obviously important to me. The guy I’m seeing knows this. It’s no secret to him that I decided to give him a chance after he used the word “microcosm” in a comment on my Facebook wall— he literally had me at “the world in miniature.” Which is why it was such a bummer for me to see the wrong “their/they’re/there” in something he typed— when he was still working on winning me over and wooing me, everything he wrote to me was flawlessly edited for maximum correctness, and if he slipped, he’d immediately correct it. He knew I have a hard-on about grammar, so he put the time in to make it all look appealing. It meant a lot. To me, good grammar is sexy. Words are sexy. Which brought up the question today— At what time is it ok for the sexy to stop? Is it ever really ok?

Granted, it’s hard not to feel comfortable with someone when they’re leaving their clothing, their beer, some food, and have a toothbrush in your apartment, but I would hope that someone would always want to be sexy for me, regardless if we’ve been together for two months, or two decades. No one likes to admit when sexy changes from something that you do inherently as a means to an end (getting laid), to something that falls by the wayside because you’re now comfortable with someone (and now getting laid regularly). As Carrie said in “The Drought”— “There’s a moment in every relationship where romance gives way to reality.” And it blows. But does it have to? Does the sexy really ever have to stop?

True, it’s a lot of work to maintain, but that’s what makes a relationship go from “work” to “magical.” So what if you have to spend a few more minutes proof-reading something? I’m not going anywhere. And so what if you’ve woken up next to me with sex-hair, or seen me in the shower with mascara running all down my cheeks? Just because I’m comfortable enough with someone that they’ve seen me looking pretty bad doesn’t mean I still don’t bust hump applying make-up, choosing the right outfit, and doing my hair for a good hour before I see them, still. Right now, it’s still all smooth legs and thongs. But what if I decided I was comfortable, and let the romance die? What if I stopped shaving my legs regularly and started wearing more cotton full-coverage bikini underwear? I’m pretty sure there’d be some protests, if not some full-on Egypt-scale riots. Because really, those are two things I definitely DON’T do to keep it sexy for him. And both take more time and effort than using spell check does.

I don’t mean to come off as griping, and I think at this point, we all know I consider myself a very lucky girl, but I just think that this example illustrates the differences in men’ and women’s ways of thinking better than nearly anything else. To me, the romance, the effort, the spark (if you will,) in a relationship is really important…nearly as important as the good grammar I get paid to look for. If that means that I’m going to have to put in a little more work to keep things fresh and exciting and sexy, then yes, I’m going to do it. To me, comfort is letting you use my laptop without hovering over your shoulder paranoid you’re going to go through my search history, or leaving you the keys to my apartment, not burping in front of you and occasionally being caught wearing something from Vickie’s cotton college dorm-wear PINK line instead their Sexy Little Things collection. So no…no, I don’t think it’s ever ok to think that comfort with someone equals the fact that they’re a sure thing and let the sexy slip away, because if grammar is the first thing to go, it begs the question of what the next thing to slack will be. The sexy needs to be nurtured, in moments like the Hollywood Kiss that took me by surprise one random night when he grabbed me and dipped me for a kiss (in the Top 3 Most Romantic Moments Of My Life, for sure), or when you spontaneously reach for the whipped cream in the supermarket or the new pair of underwear he’s never seen before, or that random moment at 2 AM last night when he texted me, just to say “hi” and ask how I was doing. The sexy is what takes a relationship from normal to fireworks, and you best believe that I’m a fireworks kind of gal. I love fireworks. Almost as much as I love the Oxford comma.

XOXO

—-

- Excerpted from SATCG

Leave Note / Reblog
SATCG Relationships Couples Don't Forget The Sexy! Writing Words Working Girl

February 8, 2011


Why Did I Not Think Of This?

Just got the best tip from an ex’s current girlfriend: A night that you can’t be with the guy you’re seeing, order and pay to have his favorite snacks (think wings, pizza, Chinese, etc.) delivered to his house, or to where he and his buddies are hanging out— instant Best Girlfriend Ever prize. 

It kills me that a girl a few years younger than me figured this one out, but, I mean— share, share away! I’m certainly going to cop it.

XOXO

1 note
Leave Note / Reblog
Couples Food Girl Shit Girlfriend Moves The Ex-Files Tips Tricks & Secrets Recipes

I just cleared out the tank top shelf in my closest and consolidated part of the hanging rack for the boy, partly in retribution for being a horrible person earlier, and partly because he asked for some shelf space. Lord help us all. I just rearranged my closet for a man. It must be serious.

XOXO

Leave Note / Reblog
Life Labor Of Love Clothing Couples How Is This My Life?

- Reblogged from evenmyegoispink.
Going Valentine’s Day shopping. Blegggghhh.
XOXO

- Reblogged from evenmyegoispink.

Going Valentine’s Day shopping. Blegggghhh.

XOXO

2 notes
Leave Note / Reblog
Sex and the City Carrie Bradshaw Couples Valentine's Day

February 11, 2011


V-Day Made Easy, for the Fellas.

Hi. Let me take this moment to remind you, this coming Monday, February 14th, is Valentine’s Day. I know. It sucks. I’m sorry. You may want to remember that or keep that in mind. Now let’s suck it up and get serious about this shit.

If you’re seeing a girl, dating a girl, in a relationship with a girl, playing a girl, sleeping with a girl, engaged to a girl, married to a girl, or, hell, if you even KNOW a girl, expect that she got you something. Please know that “don’t get me anything” RARELY actually means “don’t get me anything” when coming from a woman’s mouth. Expect that she will probably be expecting or wanting something in return. DO NOT expect that you have to be left in the dark about what to do, or that it has to cost you a small fortune, the price your left kidney will fetch on the black market, or your future child together’s college education. The good news is, there are some inherent things that men do that drive us ladies wild, in a good way. I’m particularly partial to the freshly washed man— a towel wrapped around his waist and nothing else on but body hair is one of my favorite sights in the world. Give me about 10 minutes of concentrated and uninterrupted staring at that, and I’m good for the day. Easy as all hell, right? (Yes, we objectify you too.) 

A few things other than the time-honored toweled man that will satiate your lady’s desire for romance and surprise on V-Day, ranging from costing you nothing to things that will cost you a little bit of dignity or a chunk of change (lucky girl!): 

- Whatever it is, first of all, surprising us with it is always a good idea. A smart woman is very rarely actually surprised. If you can pull it off, you can charm her.

- Cook for her. It doesn’t matter what you cook— you could be Anthony Bourdain whipping up lamb ribs with a mint/tarragon aioli, or you could be a college boy stirring the contents of a box of Kraft mac n’ cheese on the stove top, but whenever a woman sees a man standing in a kitchen, holding a cooking utensil, and doing something with food, it makes you look like Arthur pulling the sword out of the stone and hits us in a very primal spot. I think it’s called Instant Love.

- Clean up a little, both personally and physically. Shower. Shave. Find a fresh pair of socks. And if she finds you folding her laundry (separate lights from darks or whites from colors, and when in doubt, DON’T DRY IT IN THE DRYER UNLESS IT’S 100% COTTON!) or holding the handle of a running vacuum, I guarantee you— Best Boyfriend Award for WEEKS.

- I know some of us (myself included) will tell you that chocolate and flowers are over-played. Some women (including myself) are bullshit. What we DON’T like are generic bouquets and Russell Stover heart boxes. Go for her favorite bunch of flowers, or something bright and colorful, and Godiva. My dad got my mom and I classy, understated roses (Mom’s, red; mine, the cream-colored ones with the pink or purple tips— god, I love them,) and gourmet chocolate every year. Our abiding love for him is a good Exhibit A as to why unless she says “I’m allergic,” flowers still do something special to every girl. And if you do go for the dozen red roses with baby’s breath and red foil box, yadda yadda yadda…unless she’s a Grade A bitch, she’ll still appreciate the effort you put in, anyway.

- Jewelry is always good. Always. I say this as a jeweler’s daughter and sales associate who watched hundreds of men pour in the shop’s front doors every year, not as a woman. Here are a few tips I learned in the trade for making sure she actually will like what you drop money on: 

1.) Take note of the kind of jewelry she wears regularly. Is she a ring person with one on nearly every finger? Or are bangles and bracelets more her style? Does she only wear the necklace her dead grandmother gave her on her deathbed, and would never think of taking it off in favor of another? Does she have an earring collection, or does she even have pierced ears? What’s her favorite gem or birthstone? Is she a silver or gold girl? What’s her style? While I may have grown up with precious stones and tennis bracelets, only a small percentage of the jewelry I wear every day is real— the rest are souvenirs from places I’ve traveled (rings from Italy and St. John’s,) a signature dichroic glass pendant on my necklace that I will almost NEVER take off, and bangles that I’ll switch in and out depending on my mood and the look I’m going for— either wood or cheap metal ones. Scoping what she wears everyday and what’s in her jewelry box will give you a good idea as to the type of jewelry she likes to wear and what she’d get the most wear out of— if she wears the same 2 rings every day, a ring may not be the road to go, but if she mixes and matches necklaces or earrings, those would probably be safe to get her something new. It doesn’t even have to be expensive— the majority of the jewelry I treasure cost under $50— it just has to be her.

2.) Make sure it’s the right size, especially for rings. When in doubt, snag a ring that she won’t miss for a day to take it in and match what you’re buying up with the right size.

3.) Get it gift-wrapped. Unless you were an origami CHAMP in elementary school, it’s probably best to get someone at the store to do it for you.

4.) If it’s in a square box— be it a ring, earrings, or pendant— give us a minute to catch our breath when you give it to us. We’re pre-conditioned about square boxes…we’re sorry, we can’t help it, just bear with us until we start breathing regularly again.

- Can’t go wrong with a few things: Victoria’s Secret gift card. Books, movies, or tickets to a show she’s wanted to see. A candlelit bubble bath drawn up and waiting for her when she gets home (cheesy, yes, but classic for a reason— this is the holiday of romantic Velveeta moments). A mix CD or playlist that you compiled for her. Dinner and a fairly nice restaurant and a move. Drinks or cocktails at a lounge— dressed up. A hand-in-hand walk after dark. Massages. Sex. Cuddling. Or going out drinking in moderately decent clothing, followed by a drunken stumble home in the dark while holding each other up, some messy foreplay, sex, and not falling asleep snoring directly afterwards. That works, too. Hey. We’re not all gooey and mushy.

- Good god, hold the plushy toys and cards, unless you’re dating jailbait. If you are, make sure to have her back by curfew. Also, please go register with your local Neighborhood Watch chapter.

- Fix something for her— her car, her computer, the floor in her apartment that needs to be redone, the old paint in the bathroom that’s chipping and needs a fresh coat. Whatever you’re naturally good at, lend her your talents.

- Tell her she’s gorgeous. The best thing you can do for us is really just to tell us that you like us. That we smell nice. That we’re pretty. That you like being with us. That you think you’re lucky. That you’d do a lot for us, like brave the hordes at a flower shop at 5 o’clock on the 14th because you suddenly remember that we love Gerber daisies. That she looks slammin’ in whatever she bought for the occasion. Laugh at the pink wrapping paper. Kiss her “thank you.” Say “thank you.” Be genuine with her, and she’ll fall for it faster than she ever would for a dozen red roses. (…It’s still a good idea to have something small. Just sayin’— don’t shoot the messenger.)

Hope that cleared some things up for you, and best of luck with getting lucky.

XOXO

Leave Note / Reblog
Valentine's Day Couples Relationships Dating Men vs. Women Gifts Girl Shit

I’ve done the merry-go-round; I’ve been through the revolving door; I feel like I met somebody I can stand still with for a minute and…don’t you want to stand still with me?

- Carrie Bradshaw (via emilyaurora)

Honestly, sometimes I feel like stealing this conversation, word for word, is not really a bad idea.

XOXO

1 note
Leave Note / Reblog
Sex and the City Carrie Bradshaw Relationships Emotions Hard Discussions Couples

February 12, 2011


Teenage Dream, 4

The waiter shows us to our table, and sets the menus down. I pull my gloves off, and you reach across the table for my now-bare hand, clasp it between yours, and kiss it. 

My heart does odd things inside my chest.

—-

The Teenage Dream series is inspired by snapshots of my life that constantly amaze me— they’re things I hoped my “grown up life” would be like when I was in my teens, hence the moniker. All vignettes, they’re the moments I live and write about to be thankful for having.

XOXO

6 notes
Leave Note / Reblog
Couples Creative Non-Fiction Teenage Dream Vignettes Vignettes Heart