January 13, 2011


Alternatives To Sick Days

  • She: i don't wanna go to class.
  • come to burlington so i can call in sexed out of class
  • He: hahahahahaa
  • XOXO

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Sex Quotes College

January 17, 2011


The Morning After

Your underwear
Are always the first thing to go missing,
Hiding under the bed,
Or tossed into some far corner.

He usually will get up first,
To make coffee, or go to the bathroom,
That is, if you aren’t ashamed enough
To have snuck out during the early dawn light
First.

You will have roughly 15 minutes
To regain some semblance of the well-pressed self-control
You had the night before,
Sans brush, and sans mirror.

His roommates will be moving noisily around,
With no clue or no care
That you might still be there.
They talk about eggs as you try to find all your rings,
Loose, like how you’re feeling about your morals.

You hold your forehead,
Sneaking glances at him in Ray Bans and a Sox hat,
From in between your fingers
As he drives you home.
You wonder if he’ll call again.

XOXO

- A poem from last semester’s Reading and Writing Poetry class in response to overly sappy and loving waking-up-and-looking-at-the-love-of-your-life aubades. The college equivalent. 

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Poetry Sex College Life Hooking Up The Morning After

January 20, 2011


The apartment is so cold my fingers and the tip of my nose are numb.

Too poor to afford turning the heat on.

However, not too poor to be buying a pair of heeled winter boots with fuzzy lining and actual tread.

College girl problems.

XOXO

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College Life Winter Shoe Porn

February 15, 2011


…I am not a productive member of society today.

Nor am I really fit to be in public.

XOXO

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Bad Habits Life Oops College Smoking

February 20, 2011


Continuing the To Do List to keep me from going mental:

- Wash the dishes. (Can we tell what I ALWAYS put off? I just need to be in a “dish washing” mood.)

- Work on my client’s blog— font, font color, background color, 8 images. Email her for list of other people’s and company’s blogs she likes.

- Melt my brain and make myself want to cry with more episodes of the mind-numbingly beautiful “Wild China” series— bonus points: It also is teaching me things. Also, to counter-act said mind-numbing, continue watching more medicinal SATC. If I can get to it and watch it without becoming starving, watch Food, Inc.

- Go for a walk along the bike path at sunset for some “alone time” in nature. Bundle up— it’s apparently -2 outside. (Yes, I am quite insane.) And bonus points for stopping at a friend’s house on the way home for social time! (Also, to —literally— thaw my ass.

- Ration out my food so that I have things to eat at least twice a day until Tuesday, that make sense for the meal. Example: Crackers are a lunch meal, not a dinner meal. And one box of Annie’s Mac & Cheese can be split in half for dinner for two nights. Hello, poor college girl.

- Don’t call him. DON’T. (…Fuck. I so lost this one. Does it count if I messaged, and didn’t call?)

XOXO

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Life To Do List Movies College Bored Out Of My Gourd An Exercise In Self-Control Procrastination

So, I grew up spending summers at my grandparent’s house in Atlantic City. Every summer, my family and I would go to the Steel Peer and casinos. Trump’s Taj Mahal was always my favorite— I always wanted to be like Jasmine and spend the night in the tower. 
Well, in light of my NC Spring Break plans falling through, I’ve started looking for alternatives, planning a trip to see friends and family through New York and New Jersey, culminating in Atlantic City to put my feet in the ocean and run in the (slightly warmer) sand. 
And wouldn’t you just know…a tower room for one night at the Taj is $99? 
Ohhhh, I’d DIE for it!
XOXO

So, I grew up spending summers at my grandparent’s house in Atlantic City. Every summer, my family and I would go to the Steel Peer and casinos. Trump’s Taj Mahal was always my favorite— I always wanted to be like Jasmine and spend the night in the tower. 

Well, in light of my NC Spring Break plans falling through, I’ve started looking for alternatives, planning a trip to see friends and family through New York and New Jersey, culminating in Atlantic City to put my feet in the ocean and run in the (slightly warmer) sand. 

And wouldn’t you just know…a tower room for one night at the Taj is $99? 

Ohhhh, I’d DIE for it!

XOXO

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New Jerz Spring Break College Taj Mahal Wish List

March 13, 2011


Trying to count on many hands how deeply unfair it is that every other college and university kid’s Spring Break has just started, and mine is just ending. Please sir, can I have some mo’?

XOXO

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College Life Blows Spring Break

March 27, 2011


Roommate’s Passive-Aggressive Notes:

Making me want to Post-It her crusty pile of cookie-battered dishes.

I did the dishes Thursday night. The sink WAS open for you for 2 days. IF you’d been home.

…Also, not washing your dishes. Yours, your boyfriend’s, his roommate’s, his brother’s, or his brother’s friend’s.

When I can’t wait to live with strangers.

XOXO

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Life College Roommates Passive-Aggressive Friends

March 30, 2011


$20.

- Tampons.
- Small mocha with orange flavor at Muddy Waters.
- Copy of “Call Of The Wild” with assorted short stories by Jack London.
- Twix bar.
- Gas.

$20 in a college student’s life.

XOXO 

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Money College Life Things I Need

March 31, 2011


Trying To Find A Sublet:

Is about the most stressful thing ever.

I want to stay in town.

I have a cat.

I don’t want to pay more than $550 a month.

I’d prefer to live with at least one other woman, or all women.

Craigslist is failing me miserably. 

…I am going to be homeless, living in my car with my cat and working odd, high paying-per-hour blogging jobs while pulled up next to a library to leech the WiFi. I can see it now— Life After College.

XOXO

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Life College Renting Apartments Sublets

April 4, 2011


I am working on my thesis.

Everyone fall down and die in shock.

XOXO

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College Thesis Professional Life Procrastination Fo' Real

Help Me Graduate! Q&A Time!

So, my senior thesis revolves around the communication differences between men and woman on the topics of love, sex, and relationships, and if there’s any way to write for both sexes so that they’d be equally interested in the material.

That being said, if you could answer the following question— anonymously is fine— just including your genderin the comments section, you’d be doing me a TREMENDOUS favor, and, also, adding onto what will end up being a pretty kick-ass, real-life expose post about men and women’s relationships: "What is your biggest pet-peeve in communicating (or in general,) with the opposite sex?"

Example: “That instead of listening to the entire situation I’m telling him when I want to vent, my boyfriend immediately focuses on how to ‘fix’ it, instead of just listening to me. I’m female.”

Thanks, loves!

XOXO

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Q&A Thesis College Men vs. Women Miss Communication

Little Miss Relationships Doomed To Die

The more I keep researching and writing this thesis, the more and more pessimistic I get about relationships and the fact that men and women are in fact biologically engineered to NEVER understand each other.

…This is not boding well for my continued romantic existence. “I graduated college and all I got is this stupid jaded complex and B.S diploma.”

(A B.S diploma actually works in more than one way, if you think about it askjhahahahahahaha.)

XOXO

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Thesis College Miss Communication Relationships Jaded Men vs. Women

And while I was slaving away on my thesis, he was downtown with a high school senior.

I have the most FUNCTIONAL relationships, right?

XOXO

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Jailbait Relationships College Fuck This Shit Just Friends? Thesis