January 26, 2011

Girl Talk: Being A Bitch.

  • I always think "C is for CUNT." I am such a bitch.
  • Hahaha, that works too.
  • If I have the wrong end of the stick and meet her and she's really nice and is a lesbian or has some adorable little hipster boyfriend or something, I'm going to feel SO BAD. ...I like how I jump to her being a lesbian first.
  • I mean, that's the best option.
  • XOXO

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The C-Word Girl Shit Friends Bitch Lezzybeans

May 27, 2011

This afternoon, I got pissy because the S.O dragged us out of our love-nest, (read: his condo,) to go downtown, so rather than actually tell him that I wasn’t exactly looking forward to traipsing around after him, I instead sated myself by passive-aggressively Tweeting, “I am letting the S.O drag me all over in this torrential thunderstorm because I’m the best girlfriend in the world.”

5 minutes later, that turned into: “Well, I was going to bitch & moan more, but then he ran back 6 blocks to get the car so that I didn’t have to get rained on again. Le Sigh.”

I am an ungrateful wretch and a massively pessimistic bitch.

Mostly, though, I just hate the rain.

XOXO

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Life Rain The S.O Bitch Passive-Aggressive Relationships Couples Twitter

…I mean…the boy went with me to see Pirates 4 last night. And paid. I am obviously Le Bitch.

Guess who’s getting an “I’m Sorry” blowjob tonight.

XOXO

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The S.O Movies Girl Shit Bitch Passive-Aggressive Couples Relationships

I Did Not Sign On For This Shit.

Dear S.O’s Ex-girlfriend: Please stop with the baby-mama-drama and give me back my boyfriend for our cuddly night home. Please. Thanks. Now, go away.

XOXO

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Life Relationships The Ex-Files Girlfriend Moves Baby Mama Drama Bitch Passive-Aggressive

July 17, 2011

  • Carrie: Damn! Why is that girl still bothering me?
  • Samantha: Honey, you have to let it go. If I worried what every bitch in New York was saying about me, I'd never leave the house.
  • XOXO

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SATC Carried Bradshaw Bad Ass Bitches Confidence Other Women Other People's Ideas Bitch

July 26, 2011

doorsandsardines: Why I have women issues Daily prayer. XOXO

doorsandsardines:

Why I have women issues

Daily prayer.

XOXO

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Life Truth Women Bitch Other Women

July 28, 2011

The problem with asking yourself, “What Would Gemma Do?” before meeting with your loan officer is that this would likely be Gemma’s answer.

Which, actually, is a pretty accurate representation of what I think bitch handling should look like.

XOXO

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Life Mo' Money Mo' Problems Bad Ass Bitches SoA Old Lady Style Bitch

August 21, 2011

I just got into “The Tudors,” which is surprising given the fact that I’ve been an Elizabethan-age history buff since I was pint-sized (well, still am), and that I’ve been in the building that they use for all the Parliament sets…it’s actually a church in Dublin. Other than the fact that knowing the players and outcome kind of ruins the plot, I’m keeping watching, because all I have to say is… DAYUM, Jon Rhys Meyers, why you gotta do that to my lady-bits? That man is like a full-frontal assault to my estrogen. I just heard my clock start ticking, and it sounded more like a Chinese gong. However, I am also now seeing some scary parallels with my life and the whole One True Queen/Off With Her Head debacle. Which isn’t pretty, or reassuring. When it comes down to it, I guess Henry VIII and his six wives (divorced, beheaded, died; divorced, beheaded, survived,) is a great study in the fact that historically, and throughout the ages, women have always been bitches when it comes to men, money, and power. (And nice jewelry.) Facts. XOXO

I just got into “The Tudors,” which is surprising given the fact that I’ve been an Elizabethan-age history buff since I was pint-sized (well, still am), and that I’ve been in the building that they use for all the Parliament sets…it’s actually a church in Dublin. Other than the fact that knowing the players and outcome kind of ruins the plot, I’m keeping watching, because all I have to say is…

DAYUM, Jon Rhys Meyers, why you gotta do that to my lady-bits? That man is like a full-frontal assault to my estrogen. I just heard my clock start ticking, and it sounded more like a Chinese gong.

However, I am also now seeing some scary parallels with my life and the whole One True Queen/Off With Her Head debacle. Which isn’t pretty, or reassuring. When it comes down to it, I guess Henry VIII and his six wives (divorced, beheaded, died; divorced, beheaded, survived,) is a great study in the fact that historically, and throughout the ages, women have always been bitches when it comes to men, money, and power. (And nice jewelry.) Facts.

XOXO

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Closet Nerd DAYUM History Lessons Stone Foxes TV Facts Bitch

August 26, 2011

On The Word "Slut"-- From The Frenemy.

“2) We are wrongly putting our noses into other people’s god damn business.

Note: the chick you are calling a slut could have had sex on the top of the Empire State building, the basement of the White House, and on Mark Wahlberg’s kitchen island, and it would be NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS. You’re not a creepy old Southern woman who knows all the ‘goings on’ of the town. Keep your nose on your own face and stop judging other people’s lives. It makes you look like a Golden Girl, but not in the cool pizza-eating way. Just shut up and stop worrying about where her vagina is, worry about the goings on of your own vagina, especially now that all those upbeat tampon commercials are trying to trick it into enjoying its period.”

To read more, click the pink link. I highly suggest you do. Because this shit is like gospel.

HERO. PREACH IT, SISTAH!

XOXO 

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September 17, 2011

(Source: pricklylegs)

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Hilarious Life Truth Fuck Off Bitch Happiness

October 10, 2011

My fuse is just a little bit shorter today than most days.

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Life Emotions Bullshit I'm Usually Quite Mellow Bitch Fighting

October 25, 2011

trishstyle: damn right we do I love libraries, ergo, I must be a bitch. And FYI, this does work if you’re dating a literate girl— over half of my current bookshelf wasn’t bought by me. XOXO

trishstyle:

damn right we do

I love libraries, ergo, I must be a bitch.

And FYI, this does work if you’re dating a literate girl— over half of my current bookshelf wasn’t bought by me.

XOXO

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Library Books Literature Bitch Hilarious Memes Disney

November 11, 2011

Walk, walk, fashion baby,
Work it, move that, bitch be crazy;
Walk, walk, passion baby,
Work it, ‘cause I’m a free bitch, baby!

I want your love; I don’t wanna be friends.

XOXO 

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Lady Gaga Lyrics Music Theme Of The Night Bitch Fashion

December 5, 2011

I Am Such A Red-Meatist Asshole Sometimes.

  • "I'm a vegan."
  • "Oh, hey, I know a really good joke about vegans!"
  • "Yeah? What is it?"
  • "Three vegans."
  • "Three vegans, what?"
  • "No, that's the joke-- three vegans. By the way, I'll take my steak the same way my caveman ancestors did-- mooing. How's your air tasting over there? Good? You full yet?"
  • XOXO

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Bitch Conversations Food Hilarious I Am A Horrible Person This I Know Smart Ass Think About It

February 7, 2012

I swear to god I know people who have dated this girl.

Like, this girl EXISTS. She’s OUT THERE. FOR REAL.

…I don’t know about you, but I find nothing more terrifying.

XOXO

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