August 24, 2014

There’s a difference between somebody who wants you and somebody who would do anything to keep you.

Remember that.

There have been lots of people who have wanted me, but none who wanted to keep me enough to fight for it.

I have a sneaking suspicion that I’m not a difficult person to fall in love with— charming, attractive, intelligent, well-read and well-traveled—, but I am a miserably difficult person to stay in love with. I’m caustic and exacting and lazy and needy about some things and passive-aggressive and I will NOT talk to you about my emotions unless you beg it of me and I feel entirely safe with you, and I’m certainly self-aware about all of this. It’s just going to take somebody extraordinary, that’s all. It doesn’t mean that I’ve failed or that anyone I’ve dated has failed at that— it just means that they haven’t been quite as strong and as forgiving as I needed them to be. Someone’s out there yet.


(Source: the-taintedtruth)

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I align myself with people who support my growth. If you meet someone whose soul is not aligned with yours, send them love and move along.

- Dr. Wayne Dyer


(Source: awakenedvibrations)

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August 12, 2014

"Genie, You’re Free."

This is the Tweet that broke me.

It’s such a shame that so many brilliant, talented people who have depression find suicide to be the final solution for finding freedom from their own minds. My childhood optometrist— a warm, caring man who campaigned to stabilize my startlingly rapid deteriorating vision at a young age and paved the way for the journey back to nearly 20/20— took his own life when I was in high school. He locked his beloved hunting dogs out of the room to do it. When the police responded to the scene, they found them still waiting obediently outside the door, whimpering. My father’s good friend, the funny and clever sculptor Patrick Farrow (brother to Mia), took his own life a few years ago in his studio, the place he resided with his wife and brainstormed his wondrous creations. My father still hasn’t forgiven his friend for what he did— “I’m still so mad at him,” he’ll say.

When I was in high school, I looked my best friend in the eyes while she was seeking help for her depression and told her, “I’m going to tell you something I may never tell anyone else in my entire life— I can’t make it without you. I don’t want to have to live without you. So, please, don’t ever do anything stupid, because I don’t know how I would survive it.” Thankfully, for both her and me, who was also diagnosed nearly 5 years later, suicide isn’t something that even registers as an option, even in the most desperate of times. The thinking is, there’s just too much to live for.

I am not a depressed person. I’m a person who struggles with depression.

And I think that’s the important part to remember; that it IS a struggle against something inside you that you have very little control over. With depression, it can be the world’s hardest chore to get out of bed in the morning, to go through the normal motions, to be “yourself” for other people. It’s not a choice, and it’s certainly not a desired lifestyle. And often, it’s a more or less silent struggle, as the Man of a Million Laughs showed us. It can be so exhausting performing for everyone else that sometimes, unfortunately, we forget to take care of ourselves. 

What a tragedy that the World’s Funniest Man was so sad inside. I have shed so many tears during the writing of this that I am now emotionally exhausted. But I suppose that’s the beauty of being touched by someone and their passion, their craft, or their indelible spirit— we mourn because they made us feel something; still make us feel something. And oh, it’s so hard to see a keyboard through blurry eyes.

So as a person with clinical depression, I stand in solidarity to say that there is a better way. You are not alone. Please let those who care help, because you will never know how much they would miss you if you were gone. Even when you think there is no one, you have touched SOMEONE, and you will touch someone again. Live for the good. Live for the laughs.

U.S National Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1-800-273-8255


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August 4, 2014

As a woman who dated a guy who drove a Jaaaaaag, I can tell you; it’s all true. The most comfortable ride ever, but true.


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July 8, 2014

I never knew “I’ll be your gentleman sailor if you can pull off a decent mermaid,” was a pick-up line before, but I think it worked because the idea got a little motion in the ocean going, if you know what I mean.

Sailors are sexy. I should know. My father was a yacht captain when my mom met him, and look what they produced.


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July 6, 2014

…And now let’s revisit this post.

Thanks to Filthy Hippie Vibes for reblogging it and boosting it again. 

I still can’t believe that after, what, four years of dropping bombs like this and this and THIS into the electronic abyss, THIS POST is what blows up.

Ugh. Thanks for liking the quirky little houses that I like, guys. Please feel free to scroll back and explore more.


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July 4, 2014

This went straight to the top of my current playlist. Physically incapable of not shaking it to this.

And a casual Badu reference? I mean, it’s got an airhorn in it. It was set-up for success.


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July 2, 2014

My biggest regret in life for being both a woman and a writer is that I will never know how men think.


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June 28, 2014

This song makes me feel like it should definitely be used as the background music for a drug-fueled high-speed road trip montage in a movie. Or life.


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June 27, 2014


Quartier international de Montréal – because the world needs more colour ♥

True story: When I was 20 in my junior year of college, I attended a world’s religions conference in Montreal with a few of my friends/classmates and a professor from my college to speak in a panel regarding secular and sacred courses being taught in American colleges and universities.

…I am a pagan. Just thought we should clear that up right now.

Anyway…all I remember from that weekend was a few things:

- Poutine,

- Writing the name and address of the YMCA we were staying in on my hand when we went out so that I could just show it to a cabbie instead of having to remember and translate (3 and a half years of high school French— vas te faire enculi.)

- The micro-brewery that we found on St. Catherine street and their strawberry ale,

- Two extremely blurry, loud, and colorful days spent inside the Quartier International de Montreal, showing my symbolic art to dignitaries from all over the world with a pounding hangover, verbally sparring with people over Christianity’s horrible history of genocide, 

- And spitting on someone’s Lamborghini, then pounding on the doors of a church crying for amnesty at 2 AM. 

…You can see some really great graffiti from the (numerous) windows of this building.

Everyone thought we were model students.


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Take a good thing:

Annie’s white cheddar shells.

Make it better:

Plus truffle oil, tiny slices of imported Italian salumi, freshly-grated Asiago cheese shavings.


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American Ballet Theatre Principal Dancer, James Whiteside. Photographed by Daniel Moss for Gayletter.


Oh hello

Help me, I’ve fallen in love and I can’t get up.


(Source: jbdubsmusic)

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Welcome to the first GIF I ever made. It was just on my 25th birthday. In my 400 thread-count sheets.
Kids, not everyone grew up GIFing. 

Welcome to the first GIF I ever made. It was just on my 25th birthday. In my 400 thread-count sheets.

Kids, not everyone grew up GIFing. 


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How do you politely tell someone that you want them naked on top of you

The struggles of dating and having been raised with really great social graces and manners. 

It’s real.


(Source: surf4ces)

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Via ride like you stole it

Being A Writer And Dating Problems:

"That is NOT how you use a comma and I’m going to have a really hard time being sexually attracted to you now."

My worst fear is having to spend the rest of my life mentally editing texts from my future husband in order to correctly read them.


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